Episode 12: Resentment in Relationships (& why “letting it go” doesn’t work)

Written By Katharine Seim

Resentment doesn’t come out of nowhere - it’s usually a sign that something important hasn’t been said or repaired. In this episode, Dr. Rebecca (sex & couples therapist) and Dr. Alex (pelvic floor PT) talk about how resentment shows up in everyday relationships, even between people who are trying their best but are operating from completely different playbooks. They unpack why many of us take on too much, assume our partner should “just know” what we’re thinking, and then feel hurt when that doesn’t happen. This conversation is about noticing what's going on under the surface (because it's never just about the dishes), taking responsibility for what you can control, and asking for what you need in a way that actually brings you closer. 

What You’ll Learn:

  • When “letting things go” is actually avoidance, and when to speak up instead.

  • Why over-functioning is often a choice that feels easier in the moment but backfires later on.

  • How to ask for what you want without nagging or accusing.

  • How to stop “shitting on the gift” when you try to do something nice for your partner

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

  • “Why am I the only one who takes care of things around here?”

  • “I know deep down my partner cares… so why doesn’t it feel like it?”

  • “If I have to ask him to do it, it doesn't count.”

  • "I should be happy my partner is taking care of himself, but I’m just annoyed instead.”

Resources

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy


Dr. Alexandra DiGrado

Under the Hood Podcast

Katharine Seim
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